Everyday each of us encounters relationships of all shapes and sizes from our children, spouses, partners, parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors, co-workers, boss, pets and even anyone in a service role in our community, cities, states and country. There are no avoiding relationships as long as you are alive and interacting with others on this earth. As Steven Covey says, "Nothing is more exciting and bonding in relationships than creating together."Since everyday of our lives should be filled with learned experiences, we need to make every moment a teachable moment...this blog is just one example of learning and teaching together.
We as mankind are not born with hard-wired knowledge of how to create, flourish and grow relationships in our lives, it must be learned. One key point I teach my audiences during my keynotes is when you are in a relationship that is failing, remember this...you only control 50% of the relationship, but you influence 100% of the relationship, big difference. Most people operate with a mindset of controlling their relationships and then they wonder why the relationship failed. And then of course nine times out of ten they point the finger at the other person, with no accountability placed on them. So with this piece of wisdom, if you want a healthy, loving relationship, then the changes have to begin with YOU! Yes You!
Think about each relationship that you are in today. I know, most of us can list many different types of relationships in our lives from parents, spouse, siblings, friends, co-workers, managers, neighbors...relationships we establish during our lifetime are endless. Not much thought is ever given to the relationships that we encounter when we, for example, interact with others at the grocery store. From the clerk at the checkout lane, to the employees who are stocking the shelves, to the carry out attendant...all who are employed at the grocery store. I can pretty much guarantee at any given point that all of us have or will interact with these people during our shopping experience, even if only for a brief moment. But that brief moment can easily generate a new relationship, new friendship, etc., even if it's for a brief period of time in our lives. And now for my in your face question - What is your attitude and behavior in that relationship? Are you crabby, angry, and grumpy or are you friendly, outgoing, happy and have the gift of gab? Do you see that person with loving eyes or hateful eyes? Flavia Weedn says, "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, never the same." You never know who you're going to meet, where you're going to meet them, and why they've stepped into your life. But if you open your heart to everyone you meet then you will begin to realize the purpose of that relationship, even if it's for a brief moment in time.
But more importantly, the interactions that we as humans have with other humans is about reaching out to each other, helping each other and giving of ourselves regardless of the purpose. At the exact moment of interacting with others we may not consciously be aware of what is actually happening when someone new is put in front of us. I truly believe that everyone, all of mankind, regardless of time, place or situation are put in front of us for very specific reasons...we are to learn from them or they are to learn from us. It is safe to say that all of us play two roles in our relationships...sometimes we are the teacher and sometimes we are the student. And whether you are the teacher or student - "Everything happens for a reason."President Obama made a fabulous statement at a Michigan Commencement Exercise in June of this year. He said "Why should I sacrifice my life for someone I don't know?" He went on to answer this question by saying, "To form relationships, connecting with others, reach out to others because you will find it hard to 'numb' yourself to other people's suffering." I couldn't agree more with his statement...even in our day-to-day minutia, we need to start seeing with our eyes and stop seeing through the worldly eyes of judgment, ridicule, condemnation, sneering, laughing, teasing, bullying, etc.
As humans evolve and change, we need to look at the needs of our children, become their mentors, assist our elderly and the folks down the block or in our communities who are down on their luck and need a helping hand. The big test is this...Can you change your behavior patterns and your relationship to society, work and home? At the end of the day it's about relationships and the overall experiences of each one, not the moment by moment trivial details that many get caught up in. How rewarding it would be if we would just acquire a universal mentality to be of service whenever service calls us because when it's all said and done it is truly 'service' that binds us all together.
Blessings!
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